Pogo Sticks and Trampolines

Over the past 7 years, I’ve blogged left of center content under 5 different screen names at 3 different social networks. With such a critical mass of archived blogs, I do have my favorites. While I do not intend to make reposting a routine practice… I’ve just got to post this one… one more time. And since it only got 21 hits at my previous blogging “home”, it’s highly unlikely that folks now visiting blogger dot com will have seen it anyway. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.

TUESDAY, MARCH 05, 2013: Let’s start out with a short, multiple choice quiz.

When listening to a scientist report on her/his conclusive findings, how would the typical gaggle of Republican legislators react?

A. Stare blankly with slack jaws.
B. Shrink in horror, cover their ears and hysterically exclaim (in unison), “We hear nothing!”
C. Crap their pants.
D. Promptly rush outside, en masse, to bury their heads in the dirt.

Well, this was actually a trick question. All above choices are correct. However, I’ve chosen to dig a bit deeper into Scenario “D”.

Indeed, the GOP, instead of digging Geology, Physics, Chemistry and Biology, would much rather dig a couple of holes; one for their heads, the other to deep-six all time-honored, scientific facts. And, were they to ever find any preserved fossil evidence unearthed during their excavations? Well… they’d totally ignore this, too.

But, what other than a lack of intellectual curiosity could we ever expect from Righties, who continue to believe mice spontaneously generate from piles of rags? Who unfalteringly believe leaches and bloodletting can cure whatever ails you? Who still believe the Sun, Moon, Planets and stars revolve around a 6,000-year-old, FLAT Earth? Who still maintain Creationism overrules Evolution? Who still believe that cavemen and dinosaurs coexisted? (Little doubt, instead of relying on carbon dating, their “corroborating evidence” comes from the Hanna-Barbera anachronism of Fred Flintstone and Dino.)

Reposting Addendum: In other words, lefties rely on carbon dating while righties lean towards cartoon dating!

Of course, based on the slew of recent, news making statements, which these GOPee-ers have been uttering, their sex education is abysmally lacking, too (a few specific examples in a moment).

It’s safe to say that, whichever science we’re talking about, the GOP’s misconceptions appear to get hardwired into their synapses, early on, where they persist throughout “adulthood”; the real world proof that, indeed, “elephants never forget”. So… how does this all translate into the real world?

Well, It’s a forgone conclusion that anyone so poorly educated would never be able to function as a competent geologist, biologist, physician, surgeon, gynecologist, astronaut, astronomer or cartographer. Hmmm… how about a pharmacist? NOPE… don’t think so. Were we to enter the typical Republican owned drugstore would it surprise anyone if we discovered trampolines and pogo sticks stocking the shelves up and down their family planning aisle?

NOTE TO THE NAÏVE: There’s an old “birth control” method so ridiculous that it had to have been concocted by some dickhead Republican. As ludicrous as this sounds, the female is supposed to jump up and down immediately… uh… afterwards (btw… don’t try this at home… it’s failure rate is 100%).

Uh… maybe it’s best if we move on, now. Uh… I know… let’s take a look at those above promised quotations.

I’m sure most of us recall the deplorable remarks made by U.S. Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.) and Indiana GOPee-er Richard Mourdock. During the 2012 election cycle, these two misogynists both tried to out-stupid each other to “win” the right to become the poster child for the Right Wing’s all out, Nuclear War on Women.

We became ear-witness to the gross GOP ignorance about basic human reproduction; the glaring GOP intolerance towards woman, who rightfully demand total control over their own bodies; the grotesque GOP insensitivity about rape/violence.

Said Akin:

“From what I understand from doctors, (pregnancy caused by rape is) really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Said Mourdock:

“The only exception I have to have an abortion is in the case of the life of the mother. I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. I think that even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

And as offensive and stupid as all that already was/still is, this past Friday (03/01/13), at the spring meeting of the California Republican Assembly, CRA president, Celeste Greig, officially broke through the glass ceiling of the Akin and Mourdock “Morons Only Club”. True, she did try to call out Akin re his ignorance BUT in the process, she only accentuated her own.

Said Greig:

“That was an insensitive remark. I’m sure he (Akin) regretted it. He should have come back and apologized.”

“Granted, the percentage of pregnancies due to rape is small because it’s an act of violence, because the body is traumatized. I don't know what percentage of pregnancies are [sic] due to the violence of rape. Because of the trauma the body goes through, I don’t know what percentage of pregnancy results from the act.”

Wow! Can you believe it? Akin, Mourdock and now Grieg, too, all believe that sperm and egg cells have somehow EVOLVED (???) into sentient beings? Evolution??? “Evil-ution”??? REALLY??? These GOP nitwits actually believe that these mindless, microscopic gametes know the diff between consensual and forced sex? Know when and when not to merge to form a zygote?

That misconceptions such as these can even persist into the 21st century AND still be believed by anyone over the age of 10 / above an IQ of 50, is nothing short of astounding.

Well, if nothing else, what we know of the empty-headed GOP should be an ample heads up to all scientists. Learned ladies and gents, you have been forewarned! Save your breath, shove your reports on stem cell research, pollution, climate change/global warming back into your briefcases. Knock on the typically wooden GOP cranium and you’ll find nobody home. Whatever you try to say will EITHER be met, head on, with fierce GOP incredulity, skepticism and stupidity OR promptly go in one ear and out the other at Mach 1; Warp10 if such studies involve AIDS, STD and pregnancy prevention.

Since the old adage states “Ignorance is bliss,” one has to wonder if Republicans ever jump up and down with joy over their having attained/maintained this blank state of mind? Of course, it’d be kind of hard to tell whether it was really joy… or merely some Righty ignorantly demonstrating how to do the GOP birth control dance.